My Last Words to Everyone by Ariel

It is a night for a walk and I went out of the palace and go to everywhere, I went up the hillside (so that I would not approach the sea and it somehow made me better/ I would not regret a wrong choice). Then after I walked for a long time, weeping, sobbing and just... when I stayed at the top of the hill, it was almost sunset but I just can't find the way back and it is very freezing cold on the top. I was too cold and never felt this cold before and there's no one around, it was so dark, I was really afraid!!! My legs hurts very much, because I am not human at the first place and I shouldn't be having something that is never belong to me, or else it makes me suffer even more - like how I am right now.

I'm such a fool -

But there was nothing I could do and then I made a decision...

after that when I was feeling too depressed I felt a light coming through on my face and I follow that, finally it brings me to the sea...but I never knew how well the moon knows me, just make me happier. Indeed the sky was dark and the moon was bright. I sat on the rock where we were with my friends before. Though the sea was just below my legs but it seemed so far far away.

I was watching the star and thinking...

Why am I here? Can you tell me what should I do? Am I a fool or what? Why do you even need me?


When I look at the sea...drifting so...without drifting....I feel, death...

No one is happy even one mermaid is not, in the sea it is...just not even that, in the human world...

I reached out my left leg and put it in the water, the surface was chilled, it was freezing as ice...I never felt cold when I was young in there even there is a windstorm, why am I freezing right now?

Oh yes...I'm not even a mermaid...but I'm not even belonging to the humans.

Who am I...?

I pick up that, something in my pocket at last and I see...a dinglehopper...I finally smile...


Snow - you are the kindest and most loveable charming princess I have ever met, your skin is white as snow, lips are red as rose and that your heart is pure as the early flakes! There is nothing in the world not even a new glass is going to be as clear and as pure as you! Without you, in the world, no one will know what is mean by really loving and giving your whole heart to everyone.

Cindy - you are the most patient and kindhearted and mature woman ever. The word "woman" for me means a lot more than a "princess". A princess understand love and marriage, but a woman understands the meaning of true love. You have been changing, to a very very remarkable woman, day by day. And that your pure heart and beauty is never going to fail just like you glass slippers.

Auro - you have the sweetest voice ever in the world. Not only that you sings like an nightingale but your voice within is the most heard. Not only you are beautiful. I know lots and lots of people have a word on your character saying you don't speak at all or that you are not even the main character in the story and blah blah blah. Well don't listen to them, because everything from you is a voice, you have already told everyone everything, you communicate with your heart. Is that only the people who are too death to hear and that they don't have a heart...

Bell - you are more than perfect! I have never think of having you in my life that whenever I am reading your word or even only I am approaching you, I do feel like I am really a human myself. You are the one who give me a reason why am I still belong to here today. And that...you are very very very very very beautiful, from the inside out and through your mouth every word you say and sing and every book you have touched...this gives me the reason to live. If I could have a chance again, I wouldn't leave because I know that having you is just priceless.

Jas - well very frankly, as Disney Princesses, I appreciate and like you the most - why? Because I could never ever have that strong and charming character like you. If I were you , I never needed to suffer like how I am right now. Sometimes, there are things happening and what will I do is search, but you know what are you already searching and you know which path to go. I am sorry that sometimes I just think I can't fit in with you...I hope somehow, if I have a chance again, I would do whatever to let you be a lot more happier.

Poca - in my mind, you are never a "princess", you are a "heroin". I can't imagine the sacrifices that you have made and the pain and every obstacle that you have gone through. I am very ashamed that I am blaming and whining when there is someone who is having a lot more pain then I am and yet she is very strong and remarkable! Everytime when I think...I just can't live anymore, I think of you and that's why I never give up. Well...in other sense, you are always my heroin too!!

Mul - another great heroin that have saved your country and people but out of the story this is where we can all see your wisdom and strength and courage. You can see things a lot deeper than anyone else and this is also why I like you so much!! I will be thinking of you always.

Tian - you are a very very unique but also adorable girl...everytime when I feel like..oh I can't do this anymore or I am done... the thing that keeps me going is your gumbo and the jazz music. I do believe still that dreams is going to come true like how it is in New Orleans. Seeing how you gone through every obstacles, it makes me admire and I feel a lot better as well. I will miss you a lot. And I don't get the people who doesn't now or understand you, there is no reasons on earth not to like this little blessing that has no compares in the entire world.

Rapunz - lovely blondieeeee, I really can't just leave you and go away but... well if went back, I wish I've never knew you - why? because I won't be in so much pain because of missing you so much. But if I've never knew you - I can't imagine how my life feels like. When you are here, everyone laughs. You smile lights up the whole world and my heart is so warm!

Meri - First impression - oh another red hair lass from Disney, we must have a lot in common! Oh well but I just never know - you are a lot younger than me but a lot braver than me and a lot stronger than me and a lot more impressive than me...well you are such a unique and fantastic New Age heroine and princess, you are really, the only one that I would do anything to make the whole world calling you "Princess Merida" because you just deserve it more than anyone else, the word "Princess" means a lot more than anything in the world, and you are the person who deserves it the most!

After changing to fit into society, you are eventually going to want your old self back sooner or later 

The girl seemed unbreakable, broke. She dropped a fake smile and whispered to herself, I can't do this anymore

I can't walk anymore, my legs hurts so much - and it always happens but this time, it bleeds. Maybe I am too depressed.

It hurts so much.

so deeply...painful...


After I had changed to fit into the human world, I eventually went to want my old self back and sometimes I don't even want to go back, yet I may want to, well like...die... - I always seem to be unbreakable yet I have broken, I dropped a fake smile and whispered to myself "I can't do this anymore".

There is a sunset and then I sit and sit and wait and wait...thinking about...the last thing only...Mel smiling to me and hug me, our chats every time, your voices, songs and smiles...

and it is 11:59 night, I don't want to wait until tomorrow... because it takes away one day of the pain...

don't you worry - best things always stays in mind and everything in my mind...stays forever, and you too...

and well...I hate to say this but I just can't...I can't...

without...

I just want to say...really...sorry but...

If your memory is starting to fade...look at this photo again

GOODBYE!

SURPRISE!!! (by C. S. A. P. M. MuF)

Dear Princesses,

As you know Belle and Jas has been talking about birthdays - hah is production dates for the movies actually and I have decided to make up a pleasant surprises as birthday presents. Haha!!

So...I should list out the dear shinny stars for the month -
Ari: Nov 14
Belle: Nov 13
Tian: Nov 25
Rapunzzzzzzzzz: Nov 14

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Cindy

Apparently six of us are meeting up earlier today and we made up a survey, seeing how popular you four are...


Our sweetie ARI!!! Hey...it makes me sad when you are sad because your smile lights up the entire universe!! You know, a lot of people love you...

See...everyone likes you don't be sad!!!!!!!! <3 We all love you!!!


And our mighty writer and bookworm Belle:

Well...you are such a great analyser, go analyse how good you are from the result above... Haha just kidding...


Our Little - big? Spicy pretty!!! Jas!!!!!!!!

Mmhmm...you are not that spicy actually, the percentage didn't show...(ok - I'll stop talking) but really you are one of the more unique princesses and we all love you!!


Our Intriguing determined ex- clever froggy (hehe sorry), the New Orleans Princess - Tian!!!!

Well...Tian...you fulfil alll the criteria above, see...you are being complimented a lot!!! Ignore the people who doesn't understand the story just because that you are too experienced and intriguing...you are just...FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!


This is the last but definitely not least...our mist beloved hilarious blondieeeeeeeeeeeeee (well not now)...the maiden not in the tower...we present you...RAPUNZEL!!!!!!!!!

Well...girl. Thanks for bringing all the laughters, funny arguments, troubles, bla bla bla...heehee but without you, the new disney is not really a new disney...


AGAIN: ARI, BELLE, JAS, TIAN, RAPUNZ. HAPPY PRODUCTION BIRTHDAY!!! Muah <3 We all love you!!!

Re: "Princessist" by Belle - Tiana

Dear Belle,

I am Tiana, glad to have a chance to talk to you finally cuz I didn't really got much time to talk to you before. I am reading the post you wrote about Alice Walker's Womanist and your own term "Princessist". I am very very impressed with such a blogpost! It is very fantastic!

As you know - I turned into a frog for 2 days... /: ew...well it wasn't any cool but I really understand what is it mean by considering living things as a human being form and how is animals like to live in this world.

That night I was talking to Ray, I was telling him how I think animals are not having the race problem as human does, yes I am black - and I am actually the first black princess and the first princess who loves gumbo and jazz. It is not that I am from New Orleans so that I knows everything. No but until that I turned into a frog, I know how it is like to be animals.

There are rumors going 'round me about being the first black princess in Disney and yet this is controversial, but what we love to do is just putting things together and try to understand how r different people being set on earth. In people, there is race but in animals, there's none! Well all frogs are green...haha! I read lots of articles yes and these are and I have something to say about them:

Sweetheart I know I don't like challenging your points and - I'm not actually. But this is what I think - NO ONE IS BEING RACIST HERE! Personally I don't like the term "racist", what does that mean? Well I cares more on why does people think someone is "racist" more than really the idea of "racist" really! Why do I think that? Well a story does have a reason and it has a significance on the setting of a story (I do literature too but not as professional as you) well but - the part I underlined - if you say so then why don't you consider that the core of the story but not how is the story set. Something a bit more complicated here: when you say something is being racist you are also the racist one because you think the message conveyed related to the certain kind of race does possess the conveyed message - which consist discrimination. For example, you say the story set in the New Orleans and it is one of the most devastating tragedies to beset a black community, well what is mean by tragedies? I just don't get why they are saying this - they got nothing to justify to that anyways. This whole thing, well who said this created that image. We people in New Orleans has their own way of thinking and our own ways of living, everyone is here different but one thing we know - we made gumbo and everyone gather around our house and taste that. The message about race is very simply the understanding by themselves, there is no specifically criticisms and depiction of the black society but actually what is focused the most is the dream, family, animal world and love. It we are spending more time watching frogs we will spent less time watching the blacks! Well but something I'm very sure - no one else really do knows everything about the jazz music in New Orleans! Well Louis perhaps (btw some said Louis is created, sharing the first name of the famous musician Louis Armstrong and that reflects more of the idea related to racism but I don't think so!) but I do believe music is another way of understanding of humanity and the understanding of life. And it belongs to my circle.

When I see this paragraph, my first reaction was "WHY?" ok I have no idea what does it mean that I was originally called something something thus much like something something thus racist. Like I mentioned before about Louis, I don't care very much what is originally created before a final creation is produced. Hey come on, this is just one of the making process and I don't care what "Tiana" is the original name in the story "The  

Frog Princess" and even though what Disney was originally done to me it doesn't matters anymore, everything must gone through a process before it is created. But reading these criticisms what makes me feel like is the real "racist" one are them but not how disney made me! And back to that everything has it's own creating process and every thoughts counts and even in making something else the stereotypes made is processing in between, there is no way judging back I think! Umm pointless. 

Personally I am kinda confused when people are simply concerning on race and gender role, well no...they just can't see it deeper. If you say someone creates some ideas or image for you which causes your emotions and your thoughts to something else or creating an image to children - as said before but I never understand how does a particular image is going to form in everyone's mind. Let's say you get this picture, but I do not get the same message/ picture as everyone does.

In some points you may be criticising me and disney creation but I am criticising your critique as the person involved, because it just sounds...SHALLOW! The whole thing is already not focusing on racial difference or what already, it has nothing to say about this already. If that almost everyone are saying how pointlessly you are paying to see a...FROG...then you don't you just try to change your focus, it is not that there are subconscious but is the audience who is watching it subconsciously shaping themselves... or that try to look at my gumbo, why can't this be the focus though, I believe no one else has a better one...haha just kidding. But really you should try it *wink*!

Well I can't write a really good critique and I'm not a good writer like you, but I do make good gumbo soup and I have good taste of jazz! But thanks for reading this!

Bests,
Tiana

   

"Princessist" - Belle

Introduction

"Womanist" is a term made up by Alice Walker, mainly criticising (remember this is not a negative or positive word) the lack of concern to black women of "feminist". I have read a lot lately and this is what I have seen lately in Alice Walker's "In Search of Our Mother's Gardens".

Then after understanding "Womanist" I have made up my own term "Princessist"!

What is "Princessist"?

1. Root – Princess.  (1. Royalty - a non-reigning female member of a royal family. 2. Historical - a female sovereign or monarch, the queen. Expand 2, forgoing 1.) i.e. an advanced queendom of any queen in any kingdom in any century; a female King. A feminist defined clearly with no boundaries or fixations between White, Black or Red and Yellow. Add. from the old French expression, Princesse i.e. dressing in the princess manner, styled, close-fitted, bodice concerned, elegant, outer but internally, as well conscious. From the ending of the Disney Princess movies, “they lived happily ever after,” out of the ending, actually being passionate in bearing the outcome. Usually referring to heroic, courageous, visionary, outrageous, audacious, and venturesome behaviour. Eagerness to understand the whole cube than doing the case as "one". Made up the bond and tear those into the dimension. Carry every smaller-. Acting as a Hero/and  a good King to everyone. Being realistically mature/ grown up. Interchangeable Responsible. Logical. Passionate. In . Seriousness. Constructiveness. 

2. Compulsory range: A woman who sees themselves a part of other lives of any female species, contributions and caring for various species. Evokes internal admiration and emotional contributions for female living species. Knowing and prefers female culture, energy and thoughts, seeks connection between individual, family and partnership. Respect natural and counterfeit emotion (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter and demonstrate reproach-less of false nature and power), and the living strength of female species. Built up the link, sexually and/or non-sexually of individual men or in the seeking of. Committed to Individualize, styles, cultures, individual difference but as a wholeness of seeking similarities between people and living creature; male and female. Not a separatist, not a stereotype: only for knowing yourself part of the living species.

3. Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness. Loves struggle. Loves the Folk. Loves herself. Loves lion. Loves the "truths" Loves the impossibles. Also Believe And Loves - the supernaturals - something that is impossible which is made possible. Regardlessly - Authentically - Everlastingly. 


4. “Womanist is to feminist as "purple" is to "lavender”, but Princessist to Womanist is as "Colors" is to "lavender".

So still...what is "Princessist"? What does it mean? Why do we use "Princessist" instead of "Womanist"? How are they different?

I am making it so complicated and so confusing? I knew it! That's okay I've heard these a million times! I will explain what does these definitions mean and compare it to "Womanist"!


- Alice Walker’s definition of her made-up word “Womanist”

- My definition of my made-up word “Princessist”

- Explanation of the definitions

1. 

From womanish.  (Opp. of “girlish,” i.e. frivolous, irresponsible, not serious.)  A black feminist or feminist of color.  From the black folk expression of mothers to female children, “you acting womanish,” i.e., like a woman.  Usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous or willful behavior.  Wanting to know more and in greater depth than is considered “good” for one.  Interested in grown up doings.  Acting grown up.  Being grown up.  Interchangeable with another black folk expression: “You trying to be grown.”  Responsible.  In charge. Serious.


Root – Princess.  (1. Royalty - a non-reigning female member of a royal family. 2. Historical - a female sovereign or monarch, the queen. Expand 2, forgoing 1.) i.e. an advanced queendom of any queen in any kingdom in any century; a female King. 
Based on the idea of a Princess but without the concern on royalty but with the act of leading and dominating as the King.

A feminist defined clearly with no boundaries or fixations between White, Black or Red and Yellow.
Breaking the boundaries of race, and includes every female being.  

Add. from the old French expression, Princesse i.e. dressing in the princess manner, styled, close-fitted, bodice concerned, elegant, outer but internally, as well conscious. From the ending of the Disney Princess movies, “they lived happily ever after,” out of the ending, actually being passionate in bearing the outcome. Usually referring to heroic, courageous, visionary, outrageous, audacious, and venturesome behaviour.
With the addition/ addendum of the idea of "Princesse", she looks like a princess and from the appearance she shows a fully princess being because she has it already from the inside. She is very willing and passionate in bearing her responsibility and the act of dominating and caring and sacrifice for people around after going through a happy ending: marriage or birth.  

Eagerness to understand the whole cube than doing the case as "one". Made up the bond and tear those into the dimension. Carry every smaller-. Acting as a Hero/and  a good King to everyone. Being realistically mature/ grown up. Interchangeable Responsible. Logical. Passionate. In . Seriousness. Constructiveness.
The eager to understand everything in depth and acting as a hero and a good king in front of everyone. Being responsible taking up the jobs as a king, mother and wife. 

2. 

Also: A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually.  Appreciates and prefers women’s culture, women’s emotional flexibility (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter), and women’s strength.  Sometimes loves individual men, sexually and/or nonsexually.  Committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female.  Not a separatist, except periodically, for health.  Traditionally a universalist, as in: “Mama, why are we brown, pink, and yellow, and our cousins are white, beige and black?” Ans. “Well, you know the colored race is just like a flower garden, with every color flower represented.”  Traditionally capable, as in: “Mama, I’m walking to Canada and I’m taking you and a bunch of other slaves with me.” Reply: “It wouldn’t be the first time.”


Compulsory range: A woman who sees themselves a part of other lives of any female species, contributions and caring for various species. Evokes internal admiration and emotional contributions for female living species. Knowing and prefers female culture, energy and thoughts, seeks connection between individual, family and partnership. Respect natural and counterfeit emotion (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter and demonstrate reproach-less of false nature and power), and the living strength of female species. Built up the link, sexually and/or non-sexually of individual men or in the seeking of.  
The idea contributes a wide range of concerns. A woman who cares and relates themselves with other female living species deeply, out of love.                                                                                                      

Committed to Individualize, styles, cultures, individual difference but as a wholeness of seeking similarities between people and living creature; male and female. Not a separatist, not a stereotype: only for knowing yourself part of the living species.  
Like what I said in my last post - I would like people to see one another individually so that everyone has their own way of difference, and there will be no stereotypes - because then everyone will be seen different anyways, not like how is it now saying White women are... Black women should be... 

3. 

Loves music.  Loves dance.  Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness.  Loves struggle. Loves the Folk.  Loves herself. Regardless.

Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness. Loves struggle. Loves the Folk. Loves herself. Loves lion. Loves non or breath. Loves tears. Loves the "truths" Loves the impossibles. Also believes: And Loves - the supernaturals - something that is impossible which is made possible. Regardlessly - Authentically - Everlastingly. 


The concept is basically similar to "Womanist", is just that we never know the difference of living and dead and what the truth is. What I added here: lion - a metaphor to all animals, considering the place of a lion as the king of all animals. The tales for us share the common theme: supernatural and the spirit of animals - it means animal actually has the spirit and a human being, evidences listed out (very very briefly) -

- "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" - supernatural: "magic mirror on the wall", "poison apple", spell broken by love's kiss - spirit of animals: animals singing and communicating with human, taking part in saving and helping and living happily with Snow and the dwarfs, animals crying for her.

- "Cinderella" - supernatural: "Fairy God Mother", "Clock strikes 12 magic will disappear", talking animals - spirit of animals: animals taking part in saving Cindy, mice: Jack, Gus-gus, the evilness of Lucifer the cat, the cleverness and cuteness of Bruno the dog and that both human and animals can communicate as if living together all as one species.

- "The Sleeping Beauty" - supernatural: Maleficent's spell, Fairies, half animals: Flora, Fauna, Merryweather - spirit of animals: pets, animals singing and communicating with Auro.

- "The Little Mermaid" - supernatural: The Sea King's magic, power and his triton, Ursula's magic, talking animals spirit of animals: Mermen and Mermaids themselves as half human and half human, Flounder, Sebastian.

- "Beauty and the Beast" - supernatural: spell casted turning human into beast and furniture, breaking the spell by love, transformation back to human - me haha, magic mirror, talking "non-living things" (so this is why "love the non-breath") - spirit of animals: Beast as prince , other animals with human wisdom and human beings living with us.  

- "Aladdin" - supernatural: Genie, Magic Lamp, The Cave of Wonders, talking animals - spirit of animals: Cleverness and human being of Abu, Rajah and Lago. 

- "Pocahontas" - supernatural: Grandmother Willow - spirit of animals: Meeko, Percy, Filt. 

- "Mulan" - supernatural: ancestors, Stone Dragon - spirit of animals: Mushu, Cri-Kee.

- "The Princess and the Frog" - supernatural: Doctor Facilier's magic and supernatural power - spirit of animals: Tiana and Naveen turning into a Frog, Ray...

- "Brave" - supernatural: willo the wisp and spell of the witch turning human into Mordu/ bears - spirit of animals: Bear - Elinor turned into Mordu, Angus.   

You can never say does these things really happens or not, it may not but in the sense of supernatural, a Princessist respect both the living and non-living, real and supernatural, believing that the "impossible" is terms of "possible and that they exist for a reason. 

Tears. Meaning sadness, cries and suffer but also the true feeling and the heart. Significance of tears: Healing/ life - e.g. Rapunz giving Eugene back his life by tears. This is a form of the power of weakness.       

4. 

Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

“Womanist is to feminist as "purple" is to "lavender”, but Princessist to Womanist is as "Colors" is to "lavender".

So it works like this - lavender is a type of the color, purple. So it intend that feminist is only a small part of Womanist - womanist is a lot boarder and considering the ideas that feminist doesn't have e.g. rights of black women. And Princessist to Womanist is as Color to lavender: that means the idea of Womanist is just a small concern in a type of the idea of Princessist: Princessist is very board - it actually includes every lives, including e.g. animals and mermaids. And it concerns the relation of life and all women issues equivalent to the society (Patriarchy or Matriarchy).

Well so, you know the difference now! I am making it too board? Oh well - yes I know but...yeah I just have to!   

Woman Issues You Might Not Notice/ "I want it more than this provincial life" - Belle

Bonjour! Apparently, Adam reminded me that I have just finished rereading every book in the room for three times. He asked me to start writing more - as he said I should express myself more well, I'm rather quiet somehow.

Last night I was spending the night with Adam. We were reading a very romantic book. It was like the last chapter something really got into my mind and I asked, out of I don't know why reasons...

"Adam, do you remember who Gaston was?"

He didn't seemed to be very into the question but he was like "well...name rings a bell. Er...no I don't how's he like?"

I was stunned, not because they fought before, the thing is I thought I should have told people a lot about Gaston. Well I did but 2not in front of Adam...well why? U-huh! I really got no clues! (maybe I have been spending too much time on my books)

Anyway I was like "He was the most handsome man in the...well town I used to live."

"He love you did he?" He asked.

"Well, he said he wanted me to marry him!"

"Then why didn't you? He is the most handsome man! Well he was?"

"He was but - well -" (my answer for papa "He's handsome, all right, and rude, and conceited, and... Oh, Papa he's not for me.)

If you watched "The Beauty and the Beast" before, you should have known that the reason I didn't like him - what I said was "......" but those are not the main reasons. I found that eventually that he never treat me like like...umm a...LADY! Well, Adam treats me well as a queen, his lady and his love. There are some women issues in "The Beauty and the Beast" that I would really like to talk about.

-Also answer why, specifically I didn't like Gaston and
-why I always said "I want it more than this provincial life"


1. "It's not right for a woman to read"

Gaston: "is not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas, and thinking..."

Me: "Gaston, you are positively primeval."


Actually in those times people avoid women thinking and knowing things. I don't know lots of stuffs - mostly from books. So when you read you actually understand things around and it makes you think. But I should make this clear: NOT EVERYONE THAT READS WILL ACTUALLY THINK!

Someone reads a lot - yes like me a book a day but they don't ever really think! They might think that they themselves thinks a lot deeply but they don't. What I mean by really thinking is the way - also what I define "reading: is to connect other people's words to your internal thoughts, feelings, emotions and strength in order and bonding/ relating them to your own "x-ways-circles" for your understanding and possessing of your life. (What I mean by "x-ways-circles", for me is the "4-ways-cirlces", which is 1. Language& Literature 2. Religion 3. Culture& Thoughts of Humanities 4. History) Let me make this simpler, it means connect the stuffs that you have read to your way of understanding life so that it makes you wiser. I understand my life with those four areas I mentioned before. Or that those people who do not think - I won't consider them reading, instead - looking through bunch of words.

And most of the people may not do this - this may be the reason why some people are always saying they can't understand what am I talking about.

And back to women issues - "soon she starts getting ideas, and thinking..." why can't I say "soon he starts getting ideas, and thinking..." okay you may notice the sentences ends with "thinking...", then what are those "..."? If it is the latter one, people can usually complete the sentence by other words, because it is easier to know the purpose of a man reading and of they really is going to think about after reading something - that's what Adam always says as well. And most people consider women is hard to understand - well I think is just because the culture that we are living with now tells us how is it for woman to understand man but not the men understanding the women. Why? Does that have something to do with respect or -? Well sometimes I want to let you think as well, create your own circles...

(add. when I said "Gaston, you are positively primeval", he actually mentioned I didn't understand him well...)

2. "Say you'll marry me!"


Gaston: "This is the day your dreams come true."

Me: "What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?"

Gaston: "Plenty. Here, picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire and my little wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We'll have six or seven."

Me: "Dogs?"

Gaston: "No Belle! Strapping boys, like me. Imagine that. And you do know who that little wife will be?"

Me: "Let me think..."

Gaston: "You, Belle."

Me: "Gaston, I'm...I'm...speechless. I really don't know what to say."

Gaston: "Say you'll marry me!"

Me: "I'm very sorry, Gaston, but...but... I just don't deserve you."

I've always believed beauty comes within and what is it from you  inter self is what it matters. I had my dreams I loved my papa...I always wanted it more than that provincial life. I did heard people in the town saids "she is beautiful but she is odd, she doesn't fit in..." It's not only that one's beautiful (in appearance) makes them the best.

But back to the women issues, we can see what was women's role in the French society in the old days. I believe nowadays there is actually better places for women and that the modern culture is more open-minded. But somehow these stereotypes are still existing. That's what we might be thinking, women - job to give birth, serve their husband, take care of children - and more: boys, strapping strong boys. When I walked out of the town everyday, there was no female are going to take the role of earning money nor having a job/ working. But something more important here - something that doesn't change: purposes are done by men! I have read a lot about this and...cuz I really want to know why and even that I will not be that one that do so but in the movie I do said "I love you!" - but it's not a proposal. There are generally, summarized two interpretations - 1. Girls are more shy and they rely on men 2. Girls has literally no right to ask for something - love


3. "This is all my fault!"

A number of you have told me that I apologized too much! Well yea it was like..."I'm sorry..." "sorry" "this is all my fault, I shouldn't... or If i would...it won't...". Well I can tell you why am I always apologizing - I simply think everything is my fault

I know it's not just me but lots of girls are always having he same problem...well then I ask myself why... (Because in my life I heard seldom men really saying..."this is all my fault") or that less men are always excessively apologizing - I never felt like I fit in the town I used to live before well but I think is not only related to that I loved to read so much but perhaps...er well... They said I was speaking too cautiously and acting too odd or that hy don't understand what I say. I know I express myself in a more unconventional way, well but after I moved into the town, I have known that people are different from where we were before.

Sometimes you may not know - when I apologize I blam myself...and both comes together! When I am saying "this is all my fault" , I just think simply that everything is my fault! Well yeah really!



But the problem here is...why do I always think everything is my fault?  I may tell you frankly, I grow up living with my dad and that my culture upbringing in France is not really typical matching how people in France really are. But when I talk to people who were in the town we lived before, they understand what I wanted to say... (And this is the real meaning behind "There must me more than this provincial life") being with men, I am to being took care, I am weak and I should not interfere. When I'm with women, I am never fitting in because I have my dreams and I live my way more than them. People always tell me I shouldn't read too much and that I'm thinking too much... And yet under a lost of something, like a man that I love, I simply feel that it was my fault - nothing to blame but myself...

Some of these issues that I was going through and that I am also going through now may seem to be personal but all of these is related to women issues and the culture upbringing and what have the world have done to me. I believe the idea of judging people and defining things is always with individuals concerns. (Everyone has different needs and it is this that matters and frankly I don't like the idea of collectively judging people as a group - Feminist, only White female. I don't like the way of saying Americans are..., French are..., Chinese are..., Blacks/Whites are... Well I think this is why stereotypes are made - perhaps! But when you consider the differences (not between different groups of people but) between different individuals, we would be able to know that as well everyone is different but that when we are all together as one, we have similarities and that everyone is connected to one another and bonding with one another deeply.

Ok I know I am somehow going so far...well but yeah, these may not be happening to every women and I know clearly that I am different - everyone is different in their own way but we are all women, I just want everyone to be understood.

  

The Confession of a Mermaid: The Human World - it's a mess.

This is a rather sad post.

I am so sorry dear princesses that I haven't been contributing in the blog these days - I am busy, I am sad, I am crappy, I am not feeling well... and I am so sorry that I didn't show up lately as I am not good at all - I can't even have that energy to push myself up to even stand up and face the light...I have been crying for daysss and lying in my bed here...I am just fatigue, I dont' ever have this feeling no matter what is it up there happening I am so afraid and so scared and so depressed AND SO hopeless and just that even touching somethig is making me feeling very very very very afraid and depressed! I can't believe that I am the queen and the princess and also a mother and a wife and now i am actually lying on bed doing nothing but crying up all day and complaining and whining and begging for help and suffering so much. I can't stand that and THIS IS NOT HOW A PRINCESS SHOULD BEHAVE! I am sorry...

I cry almost evertime when I look at this photo and yes it purged all my blood, pains me to see this

I had never imagined that I need to suffer in the human world and so sorry I know i shouldn't have ever come up and even Sebastian reminded me the human world - it's a mess I never listen. Yes you could never be able to listen to something when you are blinded (BY LOVE) and I even came up here to cry a river of tears that i haven't been before! maybe...sometimes...maybe...i just shouldn't have never ever been a human... It is just all my fault! I just simply feel that everything is all my fault and it has nothing to blame but just me!

You may wonder why I am writing yes even typin a leter here is a challenge to me, u never know how much tears and how much...BLOOD is behind even one letter but only that when i write it hopefully can make me feel better...!!

So I will tell you what horrible terrible mess have been going on with me now one by one very very clearly-

I can't ever describe the pain!! It just drives me to DEATH!

I love Eric, yes I loved him very much. I am sorry that "The Little Mermaid I & II" have given you all false image of us but we are actually very different and I finally know we should be together at the very first place!

I though I do love him - we love in first sight. But first sight is never real. 

So that was this night - I lost my voice before for three days - what Ursula did. And after that I was very sick that night - I got laryngitis and I couldn't talk - I don't know somehow those magic is always causing me a sore throat and I guess this is why my merfolk always said using Magic to help you is just like medicine the after effects were always horrible. Maybe is something that remind you when you forced something to happen especially for love, you must pay a price! So actually the line when she sang "And it's been happened once a twice someone couldn't pay the price and I'm afraid I had to rake 'em cross the coals."- I thought what she meant was the three days prince thing kissing me but it is actually a warning to this. I lost my voice - and this is when it happened.

That nigh I was weakly fatigue and tired and just sick. I lied on bed and I just hardly move. When this girl comes she was just telling me that everything is going to turn out to be fine and she was one of the girl from the celebration, her name is Melina. No its not that Eric was cheating on me, this girl was in the party because she is the princess of the MerWorld Kingdom that we offers a uniting with them lately. If we did Eric and I will be leading the whole united kingdom so that we are forming the love and family without the boundaries separating the land and the sea (her kingdom is actually the other part of the sea that haven't united with the world that we are in right now - with my part of the kingdom in the sea, which my dad rules - dad takes over MerWorld too but just that thousand years ago they had separated out and formed a "hidden utopia" under the sea) Now that we are uniting together with Eric's kingdom and my dad's kingdom and that we will be taking over everything afterwards. (and that now I red to talk about something happened three weeks before week)

Uniting Project

I was asked to follow the whole project and the speech and everything. I was working hard and every night it was just a hard time for me not sleeping or was having very very little sleep...sleeping does affect the mood. and like i actually fainted before with the lack of sleep and even i told eric about this but he was like sweetheart you have been working too hard, a woman should not overwork herself because you under the protection of a man and you shouldn't let the man and your girl suffer because of you - you should be the one taking care of our girl and I should be the one looking after you. I told him not to tell Mel - I never want to make her worry. 

I did actually half of the project but that maybe i was totally overworked myself - so that week after I was totally not feeling well I couldn't get out of bed - I know Cind. thanks a lot for taking care of me but I really couldn't do it this time... I don't wanna see anyone sorry. than yes of course totally i didn't manage to do all the work but i know what i need to do and everything was in my mind. the deadline of the project should be life four more weeks later and i have already have everything in my mind managing to do all the work before that and i know how is that going to work. But Anyway Eric was very upset not having me to carry on the work and that I didn't talk to him for quite a while - actually i didn't do what he told me to and he was saying how I wasn't listening to him and not taking care of myself. 

But actually I don't understand very well - it was just like suddenly one night after and the sun rises - he never loved me like he did before. He was complaining that I didn't come back home early and what i should do - stay home and be a good wife. WHAT means by a good wife really? I didn't get it and i never do. I was following everything and I actually worked well. Everyday after that week and of course I do was going over to the MerWorld and have conferences. You know I needed everytime turning into a Mermaid and back to human and back to mermaid again and turn back to human - I was tired, frankly. But I never even say a word - a princess should not blame. (When i was young dad always tell me a princess should not blah blah blah blah...and I was really having that enough but after having Mel and becoming a mother and started taking part ruling the place I understand why did dad wanted me to do this and do that and I know how I should behave as a princess really)

(I did brought Eric once and we did met Melina and her dad before.)

Deadline

But that I have my own timeline and own schedule but just only Eric said he wanted to make Melina happier by speeding up everything - I am not sure what did she said but what he said should be that she wanted everything to turned out to work faster. And I did so I really work ten times harder than it was before and of course that I wasn't feeling well and after that I got the laryngitis.

Laryngitis

Back to that last week I gotta do everything in order to finish up everything, cramping something that should be done in four weeks time in a week. Of course that I never say a word and I wasn't unhappy because of this - well I can't be, I am a princess and I can't be especially in front of Eric. Then of course I never tell anyone anything about this but I am just managing myself to do everything up in a week.

I finally did but of course I couldn't talk - laryngitis really kills. Since everything was done they came. 

What I heard

I never know what happened next but eveything was never in my control - that was this king (Melina's dad) and he was meeting us and that night I could finally get out of bed and walk a little and that was when I heard from Eric from the dinner table - they didn't tell me anything but they never asked me for dinner. This I saw it clearly how this king was saying how useless I was when I am not showing up and that I am not doing anything and that he was refusing about the uniting because that he though I was not able to handle such a job (and also I am a woman and mermaid is known as him that he said woman cannot handle a job but a mermaid. THAT'S UNFAIR I AM a mermaid!) - but the truth was I did everything but Eric - he never did anything. And this is what he said - he took care of the job and it was Melina and him did everything! (The King didn't know we were married) And this is when the moment it breaks my heart - is actually his order to Eric to marry Melina and Eric promised - he whispered to Melina: don't worry she can't talk! (They don't know by that time my voice actually came back)

These time I am the one who did all of the job and it was I who did everything and it was I who did everything for nothing but a heartbreak! WHY DID I DO THAT?

What they told me

I went back to the room and that night Melina went up saying everything is gonna turn out to be fine and that tomorrow(the day after that day) Eric and I will be having our duties and all of us will become one. I was really upset but I know a princess shouldn't ever raise her voice and argue so I asked Eric about what I saw and I told him, I knew he was lying to me. I can't believe that he blamed on me and here was his respond -

Ariel you know what I don't want to say to you is, you are not listening and following the rules. I know you think you can do everything and how you are going to handle everything yourself...you know this is not what a woman should do! And when you ended up messing up everything it is... it just... I just can't do this anymore! You are not even that Ariel I have seen in the beach before - you won't sing anymore and actually I never have that feeling that when you saved me. And I know that we are very different people. If you are never handling a job, Melina did and I did. And...I just don't feel that from you anymore...

After he told me something more about that I actually look down at the floor and yes my tears did welled up from my eyes and he was looking at me "are you crying babe?". I can't imagine I actually "I am not your babe anymore." He was like "Fine! I'll go out!" "Oh and...forget to remind you one last thing...a princess does not say something like that! And a princess should not cry in front of a man! But anyway, you are not one anymore!"

Well this is...I just really this is...this whole thing just...nothing - sorry...

Well I really can't take this! Not that like he is going to marry Melina is not the point but you know I don't get what is something I can't handle and what was mean by I wasn't following the rules? Is there a particular role for a woman? Why do I even need to do everything for....just...

No I can't do this anymore

I am sorry but...I just...you know...sorry...I need to...well if i am not even writing this out I might really die...

Sorry. sorry!!

 

    

Is It Alright to Be Single? - Merida

Sometimes I ask myself a question. What is mean by "a Princess"? So if ye married a prince and ye are the princess! I know I am the 11^th official Disney princess, at the same time I’m also the 3^rd “technical Pixar Princess” and yesterday my mum asked me was I feeling okay to be single. Aye...I never know why am I a princess when I haven't even married a prince! Or I am a princess from the very beginning because I am the daughter of the King. Aye...yay I am the Princess of DunBroch. Well a better way to...understand the word "Princess"!

But why am I still single? Oh weell...I am the only Disney Princess that does not "need to" have a man. Ahha lets see, I have a royal upbringing, I am the princess and at the same time the master archer. I am kinda a headstrong teenage and I have a clear destiny now. I know my responsibilities. And I have Angus and my wee triplet brothers…haha. Aye okay…I know is not much related. Just the problem is why am I single?

Well I never have an answer to that. That is just I can’t find my…well...man. Aye aye I wanted my freedom, I wasn’t ready… I believe that true love and good will come within just that is not something that can be made or forced. I rejected the arranged marriage with the Lords’ decedents because it is not something that I believe it can be really you know…arranged! 

Frankly I was sitting there that morning and waiting for the whole...thing...to come and what was in my head was just...what was I going to do...? When I heard that they were coming I was just...Oh mine, this - whole - marriage was just - just - why didn't anyone bother what I want - not what they want but is what I wanted! 

But my rules are quite easy - only that I want it and I knew it, I will accept that. I never my life to be over or that I am being over. if something is forced, it is not what I want! I just want to get what I think is...right!

I was selfish, I never thought about the others nor the kingdom, but just myself! Well the rudy traditions are broken and we have nothing to worry about.

And til now I have get the idea...hmm...the reason is actually simple. Is just that I haven't had my love yet! New Age films and modern Disney Princesses movies are doing more work on feminism. I believe modern Scottish female are more tend to be independent or known to be more independent. Aye it is not how mothers are being treated in that way!! More likely we arrange a better way for Scottish mums to take care of children and even that more people are saying how is it important for female to take care of their babies...well if they have one. But a lot of female does have the time and importance for them to work and taking up a role for the opposite sex. But I think these stereotypes are more less not existing nowadays! 

We can say how he character Merida in the story is more tend to take up the male's role or even we are saying she is less a typical princess or more tend to be tomboyish. But in my point of view...why am I still single is simple...because I can't find a man that I love YET!! Aye people...it is just very simple like that. What do you expect though?

I am very crazy about blog posts lately I don't know why but this is already another post! Haha!

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How People See Chinese - Mulan

In "Mulan" 1 & 2, we can clearly see how disney makes people think about Chinese and how people think about us:


1. Superstitious

Again why am I here? Disney created me based on Hua Mulan, but they changed lots of details of course. In the story, there are something that Hua doesn't have obviously:

-Supernatural stuffs - ancestors talking and planning to protect me
-Mushu
-The Stone Dragon
-Cri-Kee
-Khan (and Khan means the Emperor at that time but not a name of a horse)

They think, in their own mind that Chinese are superstitious, they think we worship Gods, we beg in front of God and our dead ancestors to give us help.

Well first of all you can't apply one concept to everyone in China! The time period set for "Mulan" and "Mulan 2" is the Southern and Northern Dynasties and I am from the Northern Dynasty (you can see: the Huns) at that time, no one does worship any god or the Buddah, Buddhism was brought into China during the Sui and Tang dynasties. The Northern Dynasty is about right before Sui dynasty, no one in that time knows anything about worshiping Gods. What we only did was Confucianism. I have no clues about how superstitious really that Chinese are, we have our religion and Confucianism is our root, that is a completely different thing from superstitions!


2. Concept of the Story

a. Feminism

The story of Hua Mulan never emphasise feminism. Just only how I am being seen as a symbol of a feminist and this is what raised me a "Disney Princess". But the main idea that what Chinese is looking through in the story for Hua Mulan as a hero is not that.

As I said before the idea of Confucianism is very different from what people think Chinese is.

-Firstly, Hua Mulan for Chinese is seen as a character of
1. Humaneness (Rén 仁)
2. Righteousness/ Justice (Yì 义)
3. Filial piety (Xiào 孝)
in the themes of Confucianism

It is not like that because Hua is a woman and it makes her a feminist and this is what leads to equality or this is what she is famous for: actually taking the gender role of a man but a woman. Instead, we sees her as a Character and this is what it is so appreciable and respectful...

1. Humaneness: in Confucianism, this means love and loyalty. The reason that she is going to the war for her father is that 1. She loves her father and never wants to see him suffer 2. She put her family in the first place and also knowing the importance and the strong belonging of her family and this relates to the whole country (the country is formed because the families are formed)

2. Righteousness/ Justice: She actually knows what is the right thing to do and what she needs to achieve as a role of being a daughter and a part of the family.

3. Filial piety: This is actually commenting on how Hua loves her father and that her will of taking her father's place in the war and go for a fight because she doesn't want him to suffer.  


b. Marriage/ Romance

The story of Hua Mulan never mention any romantic relationships and her love. I have Shang and that's a part of my life as well. But this is what Disney didn't do about the Chinese culture. Even though love and relationship is part of your life but you never consider really the meaning behind: Individualism. What Chinese look for more is seeing yourself a part of your family more than that you are as an individual or as you yourself independently. If you are married, you are no longer belonging to your own family!

Arranged marriage for the girls (other Chinese princesses). Err...again...we are Northern Dynasty and in that period of time we were influenced by other cultures around that makes us actually more open-minded, marriages and love was more flexible actually. It is actually quite open minded at that time!


See what Orientalism has done to us and me! And is always what Disney makes people think of us! It is not that...well never mind! But really is how people see Chinese and how it makes Chinese sees Chinese ourselves. Yes even now lots of our people come and tell me Chinese are so superstitious, not open-minded and even the misunderstanding that Chinese is based on Buddhism...



The most honest words by,
Mulan Fa