Woman Issues You Might Not Notice/ "I want it more than this provincial life" - Belle

Bonjour! Apparently, Adam reminded me that I have just finished rereading every book in the room for three times. He asked me to start writing more - as he said I should express myself more well, I'm rather quiet somehow.

Last night I was spending the night with Adam. We were reading a very romantic book. It was like the last chapter something really got into my mind and I asked, out of I don't know why reasons...

"Adam, do you remember who Gaston was?"

He didn't seemed to be very into the question but he was like "well...name rings a bell. Er...no I don't how's he like?"

I was stunned, not because they fought before, the thing is I thought I should have told people a lot about Gaston. Well I did but 2not in front of Adam...well why? U-huh! I really got no clues! (maybe I have been spending too much time on my books)

Anyway I was like "He was the most handsome man in the...well town I used to live."

"He love you did he?" He asked.

"Well, he said he wanted me to marry him!"

"Then why didn't you? He is the most handsome man! Well he was?"

"He was but - well -" (my answer for papa "He's handsome, all right, and rude, and conceited, and... Oh, Papa he's not for me.)

If you watched "The Beauty and the Beast" before, you should have known that the reason I didn't like him - what I said was "......" but those are not the main reasons. I found that eventually that he never treat me like like...umm a...LADY! Well, Adam treats me well as a queen, his lady and his love. There are some women issues in "The Beauty and the Beast" that I would really like to talk about.

-Also answer why, specifically I didn't like Gaston and
-why I always said "I want it more than this provincial life"


1. "It's not right for a woman to read"

Gaston: "is not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas, and thinking..."

Me: "Gaston, you are positively primeval."


Actually in those times people avoid women thinking and knowing things. I don't know lots of stuffs - mostly from books. So when you read you actually understand things around and it makes you think. But I should make this clear: NOT EVERYONE THAT READS WILL ACTUALLY THINK!

Someone reads a lot - yes like me a book a day but they don't ever really think! They might think that they themselves thinks a lot deeply but they don't. What I mean by really thinking is the way - also what I define "reading: is to connect other people's words to your internal thoughts, feelings, emotions and strength in order and bonding/ relating them to your own "x-ways-circles" for your understanding and possessing of your life. (What I mean by "x-ways-circles", for me is the "4-ways-cirlces", which is 1. Language& Literature 2. Religion 3. Culture& Thoughts of Humanities 4. History) Let me make this simpler, it means connect the stuffs that you have read to your way of understanding life so that it makes you wiser. I understand my life with those four areas I mentioned before. Or that those people who do not think - I won't consider them reading, instead - looking through bunch of words.

And most of the people may not do this - this may be the reason why some people are always saying they can't understand what am I talking about.

And back to women issues - "soon she starts getting ideas, and thinking..." why can't I say "soon he starts getting ideas, and thinking..." okay you may notice the sentences ends with "thinking...", then what are those "..."? If it is the latter one, people can usually complete the sentence by other words, because it is easier to know the purpose of a man reading and of they really is going to think about after reading something - that's what Adam always says as well. And most people consider women is hard to understand - well I think is just because the culture that we are living with now tells us how is it for woman to understand man but not the men understanding the women. Why? Does that have something to do with respect or -? Well sometimes I want to let you think as well, create your own circles...

(add. when I said "Gaston, you are positively primeval", he actually mentioned I didn't understand him well...)

2. "Say you'll marry me!"


Gaston: "This is the day your dreams come true."

Me: "What do you know about my dreams, Gaston?"

Gaston: "Plenty. Here, picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire and my little wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We'll have six or seven."

Me: "Dogs?"

Gaston: "No Belle! Strapping boys, like me. Imagine that. And you do know who that little wife will be?"

Me: "Let me think..."

Gaston: "You, Belle."

Me: "Gaston, I'm...I'm...speechless. I really don't know what to say."

Gaston: "Say you'll marry me!"

Me: "I'm very sorry, Gaston, but...but... I just don't deserve you."

I've always believed beauty comes within and what is it from you  inter self is what it matters. I had my dreams I loved my papa...I always wanted it more than that provincial life. I did heard people in the town saids "she is beautiful but she is odd, she doesn't fit in..." It's not only that one's beautiful (in appearance) makes them the best.

But back to the women issues, we can see what was women's role in the French society in the old days. I believe nowadays there is actually better places for women and that the modern culture is more open-minded. But somehow these stereotypes are still existing. That's what we might be thinking, women - job to give birth, serve their husband, take care of children - and more: boys, strapping strong boys. When I walked out of the town everyday, there was no female are going to take the role of earning money nor having a job/ working. But something more important here - something that doesn't change: purposes are done by men! I have read a lot about this and...cuz I really want to know why and even that I will not be that one that do so but in the movie I do said "I love you!" - but it's not a proposal. There are generally, summarized two interpretations - 1. Girls are more shy and they rely on men 2. Girls has literally no right to ask for something - love


3. "This is all my fault!"

A number of you have told me that I apologized too much! Well yea it was like..."I'm sorry..." "sorry" "this is all my fault, I shouldn't... or If i would...it won't...". Well I can tell you why am I always apologizing - I simply think everything is my fault

I know it's not just me but lots of girls are always having he same problem...well then I ask myself why... (Because in my life I heard seldom men really saying..."this is all my fault") or that less men are always excessively apologizing - I never felt like I fit in the town I used to live before well but I think is not only related to that I loved to read so much but perhaps...er well... They said I was speaking too cautiously and acting too odd or that hy don't understand what I say. I know I express myself in a more unconventional way, well but after I moved into the town, I have known that people are different from where we were before.

Sometimes you may not know - when I apologize I blam myself...and both comes together! When I am saying "this is all my fault" , I just think simply that everything is my fault! Well yeah really!



But the problem here is...why do I always think everything is my fault?  I may tell you frankly, I grow up living with my dad and that my culture upbringing in France is not really typical matching how people in France really are. But when I talk to people who were in the town we lived before, they understand what I wanted to say... (And this is the real meaning behind "There must me more than this provincial life") being with men, I am to being took care, I am weak and I should not interfere. When I'm with women, I am never fitting in because I have my dreams and I live my way more than them. People always tell me I shouldn't read too much and that I'm thinking too much... And yet under a lost of something, like a man that I love, I simply feel that it was my fault - nothing to blame but myself...

Some of these issues that I was going through and that I am also going through now may seem to be personal but all of these is related to women issues and the culture upbringing and what have the world have done to me. I believe the idea of judging people and defining things is always with individuals concerns. (Everyone has different needs and it is this that matters and frankly I don't like the idea of collectively judging people as a group - Feminist, only White female. I don't like the way of saying Americans are..., French are..., Chinese are..., Blacks/Whites are... Well I think this is why stereotypes are made - perhaps! But when you consider the differences (not between different groups of people but) between different individuals, we would be able to know that as well everyone is different but that when we are all together as one, we have similarities and that everyone is connected to one another and bonding with one another deeply.

Ok I know I am somehow going so far...well but yeah, these may not be happening to every women and I know clearly that I am different - everyone is different in their own way but we are all women, I just want everyone to be understood.